guillotineroom | [TSUCHIGUMO]

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!tsuchigumo

[TSUCHIGUMO]

[when you open your eyes, you find yourself in a pleasant greenhouse. the sweet scent of flowers surrounds you, and the sun shining through the glass ceiling invigorates you from within. there are stone benches on which you can sit, and if you're hungry, there's a garden table with some refreshing tea and scones available to you]

[the voice– the good voice– echoes in your head again]

YOUR DESIRES. . . CREATED THIS REALM. IT IS YOURS. . . IT IS NOT TYPHON'S! I CAN USE THOSE DESIRES TO GIVE YOU A SAFE PLACE. . . FROM WHICH TO FIGHT.

BUT I CANNOT DEFEAT HIM. . . ONLY YOU CAN. ONLY YOU– WITH YOUR OWN DESIRES!! YOU CAN. . . RESHAPE THIS WORLD. . . HOWEVER YOU'D LIKE!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How did I know...

Ain't like I've never done anythin' wrong, or never broken the rules or whatever. I make mistakes. I feel regret. But what do I gotta hold onto it for? What does feelin' guilty do for anyone?

If I meant to do it, then I prolly got a reason for it. It bite me in the tail later, then I'll feel regret, sure, but I'm already eatin' consequences, so why keep beatin' myself up over it?

If I ain't mean to do it, then I just gotta learn an' move on. I ain't gonna hold myself to some unrealistic expectations of bein' perfect.

If it hurt someone, or it actually affects 'em, they better tell me, 'cause I ain't gonna try guessin' what arbitrary lines in the sand people got an' what offends 'em or whatever. I can stop doin' whatever it was or make up for it or whatever, but I can only do that if someone tells me what I did wrong. And if I make up for it or eat shit for it, whichever, then I paid my pound of flesh. I learned. I'll decide what to do next an' move on.

If it ain't hurt someone, if it ain't affect anyone, then who even gives a shit? Like hell I'm gonna feel ~guilty for jaywalkin' or whatever just 'cause some old fogeys decided I gotta follow their rules to be ~acceptable.

I don't give a shit about bein' acceptable, presentable, or polite. Ain't gonna hurt anyone if I ain't wear the right clothes or talk the right way or if I don't remember my Ps an' Qs. If someone wants to get their tail in a twist over it, that's their problem, not mine. An' if someone don't wanna deal with me, they can leave.

[ is he actually a psychopath or is this deeply philosophical ]

So? Am I forgettin' anythin', Mr Lawyer?

... Hmm. I agree that guilt applies most when you've caused someone else harm or distress. When it comes to committing a crime that isn't violent, it gets a lot more complicated. You might still be guilty as far as the law is concerned, but personal feelings could differ.

[ Either way, it does help to hear Leona's take on all of this. Now, how to consider Typhon's feelings of guilt in particular. ]

He's guilty because he feels that he didn't save the people he cares about, his family. His children. [ Ryunosuke isn't a parent, so he can hardly imagine what that's like. ] He must be in a lot of pain, don't you think? Weighed down with feelings like that.

[ considering the question, and—the air softens a little, as his gaze gravitates up ]

Yeah. Sure. Prolly gonna be sore forever, about losin' 'em. Not like he gotta move on, get over it.

[ quiet—the way he ends that sentence makes it sound like he's going to add something to it, but he takes so long to continue that it's liable to come off as an entirely different thought ]

. . . There's a belief in my country. When we die, our bodies go back to the the ground, become part of the grass. The herbivores eat the grass, and the carnivores eat the herbivores—an' so on, an' so forth.

[ his voice grows softer ]

Their spirits join the sky as part of the stars, to watch over the living. They say if you're ever feelin' alone, the stars will be there to guide you. And, their hearts . . . they keep livin' on, in the ones left behind.

The way ya talk. The way ya walk. The way ya think, the things you know. The way ya see the world—when you're alive, you give a little'a that to someone else. All that makes up "you"—and when you die, that part'a you lives on in 'em.

No one is ever . . . just themselves. And no one is ever truly alone. We're all part of each other; we're connected in the great Circle of Life.

[ It's odd to hear Leona speak with such softness. Ryunosuke isn't used to it, but it seems that despite his cavalier demeanor about everything, this concept of the Circle of Life is something that he believes in.

Ryunosuke's mouth twitches with a smile. It's an interesting way of viewing death, and doesn't differ all that much from Buddhist beliefs. ]

... Then even if his children are lost at the end of all this, he has to remember that they're all still a part of him. Is that what you're saying?

I'm sayin' they can see everything from up there an' they know how lame an' stupid he's bein'. Willin' t'bet thaumarks to donuts they think he's a fuckin' idiot. Geez. Who wants to have this embarrassing dumbass for a father?